Cinderalanna: The Tortallan Cinderella
by Princess Kalasin
Summary: The humorous Tortallan parody to Cinderella. Includes a cross-dressing Duke Gareth, the Almighty Author and a lot of MUAHAHAHAs! Finished! Plus the sequel's out.
1. Cinderalanna

Please read my A/N at the end of the story!  
  
**DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to Tamora Pierce, and the plot belongs to no one, since it's a folk tale. So basically I own nothing. If I did own the characters, why would I be on the Tamora Pierce fanfic board, anyway?  
**  
Cinderalanna: The Tortallan Cinderella  
  
Alanna: [wakes up] Where am I?  
  
Author: You are in the home of your wicked stepsisters and stepmother.  
  
Alanna: My WHO?  
  
Author: Just play along!  
  
Alanna: Oooh kayyyy...[walks downstairs]  
  
Duke Gareth: MUAHAHAHA! I am your wicked stepmother!  
  
Alanna: Duke Gareth? Why are you wearing that ugly wig and a dress?  
  
Duke Gareth: What wig? I am your wicked stepmother, and this is my own hair! And I'm female, so I should wear a dress! And my name is DUCHESS GARETHA!  
  
Alanna: But why are you an evil guy, er, girl? I always liked you when I was a page!  
  
Duke Garetha: YOU DARE CALL YOUR STEPMOTHER EVIL? I shall give you PUNISHMENT WORK! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Alanna: Oh, I get it.  
  
Roger: [walks into the room, also wearing a wig and dress] MUAHAHAHA! I am your wicked stepsister!  
  
Alanna: Roger? I killed you! And what's with all the muahaha-ing?  
  
Roger: I am not Roger, I am Rogerina! Why shouldn't I muahaha? I'm EVIL! MUAHAHAHA! And I have come back to life because the almighty author brought me back to life! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Alanna: This is getting weird...  
  
Ralon: [walks in, and guess what he's wearing] MUAHAHAHA! I am your OTHER wicked stepsister!  
  
Alanna:[faints from the sight of Ralon in a dress]  
  
Rogerina: [dumps water on Alanna] I always wanted to do that...  
  
Alanna: [wakes up]  
  
Duchess Garetha: For sleeping on the job, I shall give you PUNISHMENT WORK! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Alanna: [groans] Oh MAN...  
  
Duchess Garetha: For complaining, I'll give you MORE PUNISHMENT WORK! MUAHAHAHA! Now go clean the floor!  
  
Alanna: I challenge you to a duel on the grounds that I'm sick of your muahaha-ing!  
  
Duchess Garetha: The almighty author was afraid you might do that and ruin her story, so she took your sword away! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Alanna: NOOOO! I don't like this author person!  
  
Ralon: That's ALMIGHTY author person to you, Cinderalanna!  
  
Alanna: I'm ALANNA, Ralon.  
  
Ralon: In this story you are CINDERalanna, and I am Ralonetta.  
  
Cinderalanna: NO! Where it used to say Alanna: it says Cinderalanna:!  
  
Ralonetta: That happens after you tell your name in the story. See, mine used to be Ralon, now it's Ralonetta.  
  
Cinderalanna: But why did you put the Cinder in my name?  
  
Rogerina: Because every morning we throw cinders from the fire on you, so you look like our maid, not our abused stepsister!  
  
Cinderalanna: [gets cinders thrown at her] Now I'm all gross and dirty! How am I supposed to clean the floor? It'll get dirty from me kneeling on it!  
  
Duke Garetha: You just have to clean it twice, once to get the dirt off and another time to get the cinders off!  
  
Cinderalanna: This is going to be a long day...

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_A/N: So, what do you think? It's my first fic, so if you don't like it, please be nice about it. I know they're all acting a little out of character, but it's supposed to be a parody, so it's going to be that way. Please review!_


	2. Asparagus and Cinnamon Soup and Kodak Mo...

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.**  
  
Chapter Two: Asparagus and Cinnamon Soup and Kodak Moments  
  
Cinderalanna: [Cleaning a window] Duke-er, Duchess Garetha, how many times do I have to clean the windows?  
  
Duchess Garetha: Until I tell you to stop! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Cinderalanna: You're lucky the author took away Lightning...  
  
Rogerina: MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Cinderalanna: What was that for?  
  
Rogerina: I just like to MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Cinderalanna: Why couldn't I get a NORMAL family? First I have a brother who's obsessed with raising the dead and a dorky father, now I have three cross dressers who won't stop muahahaha-ing!  
  
Duchess Garetha: You dare call your stepmother a cross dresser? This calls for PUNISHMENT WORK! Spend two bells of time CLEANING DRAPES! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Cinderalanna: Well at least I don't have to keep cleaning these windows...  
  
Ralonetta: Cinderalanna? I'm hungry! Make me dinner!  
  
Rogerina: Me too!  
  
Duchess Garetha: Me three! Er, I mean, I am hungry also.  
  
Cinderalanna: But I can't cook!  
  
Ralonetta: COOK IT ANYWAY!  
  
Cinderalanna: OK, fine. But don't blame me if it's disgusting!  
  
Later...  
  
Cinderalanna: [Walks out of the kitchen with a tray] Dinner!  
  
Rogerina: Yum! What is it?  
  
Cinderalanna: Asparagus and cinnamon soup!  
  
Ralonetta: Ewwww...  
  
Cinderalanna: And for dessert there's sausage pie!  
  
Rogerina: Sausage as in PIG? Ewwww...  
  
Cinderalanna: [Thinks: That'll teach you to muahahaha!]  
  
Duchess Garetha: Well, I guess that's what you get for cheap labor.  
  
Later...  
  
Cinderalanna: [Cleaning draperies]  
  
Rogerina: Aren't you supposed to be singing while you do that?  
  
Cinderalanna: Why would I? I can't sing!  
  
Rogerina: Well, in the movie Cinderella sings while she works.  
  
Cinderalanna: Movie? What's a movie? Is that magic?  
  
Rogerina: I don't know, it's just what the almighty author told me to say.  
  
Cinderalanna: OK, whatever. [starts to sing off-key] I looove yoou, yoou looove meee, weee'rrreee aaa haaapyyy faaamiiilllyyy...  
  
Rogerina: Awww...I love you too! [Hugs Cinderalanna]  
  
Random people: Awww! Kodak moment!  
  
Cinderalanna: Ew! Get off me!  
  
Rogerina: Sorry. Er, MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Duchess Garetha: [walks in] Hey, why are a bunch of random people in my house? OUT! Or I'll give you PUNISHMENT WORK! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Random people: Eeek! [they all leave quickly]  
  
Ralonetta: [walks in] Did I miss something?  
  
Cinderalanna: Roger hugged me! It was sickening!  
  
Rogerina: Rogerina.  
  
Cinderalanna: Whatever.  
  
Ralonetta: Why am I always GONE when interesting stuff happens? I feel so unloved!  
  
Rogerina: I love you Ralonetta! [Hugs Ralonetta]  
  
Random people: Awww! Kodak moment!  
  
Duchess Garetha: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Random People: Not him again! [leave]  
  
Duchess Garetha: I am a HER I TELL YOU! HER!  
  
Ralonetta: What's a Kodak anyway?  
  
Cinderalanna: Maybe it's like a movie.  
  
Ralonetta: What's a movie?  
  
Rogerina: Something the author told me to say.  
  
Ralonetta: [gasps] YOU LEFT OUT THE ALMIGHTY!  
  
Rogerina: Oh no! Now I'm in danger of the...[dun dun DUNNNN!] WRATH OF THE AUTHOR!  
  
Cinderalanna: What the heck?  
  
Rogerina: OH NOOOOO! [runs around in circles]  
  
Ralonetta: Don't worry Rogerina, I'll protect you! [hugs Rogerina]  
  
Random people: Awww! Kodak moment!  
  
Cinderalanna: [wonders when this joke will end]  
  
Duchess Garetha: GET OUT! AGAIN! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Random people: We're starting to feel really unloved, you know! [they all leave]  
  
Someone: [knocks on door]  
  
Ralonetta: Did someone just knock on the door? Answer it, Cinderalanna! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Cinderalanna: [Goes to answer door]  
  
The Almighty Author: [Decides to end this chapter as a cliffhanger...sort of]  
  
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_A/N: Thank you, reviewers! I'm so happy people like my story! [sniffs]  
  
Random people: Awww! Kodak-  
  
Author: SHUT UP!  
  
Well, anyway, I'm hoping for 4 total reviews before I start the next chapter. And if I don't get them, you may never know who is behind the door! MUAHAHAHA! So REVIEW!_


	3. The Message and a bunch of other random ...

**ANOTHER POINTESS DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Tamora Pierce; the plot is a non-owned folk tale.**  
  
_A/N: This is where the plot starts to show my opinions on Jon. I try to avoid Jon-bashing since it's controversial, but I couldn't resist. Believe me, it adds a funny twist to the Cinderella-type plot. But if you'd rather not read it, then suit yourself. Oh, and read my A/N at the end of the story, too. That is, IF you read the story._  
  
Chapter 3: The Message  
  
Cinderalanna: Ummm...what was I doing before the Almighty Author so meanly turned the last chapter into a cliffhanger?  
  
Duchess Garetha: Opening the door. MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Cinderalanna: OK...[opens door]  
  
Raoul: I bear a message in the name of King Roald!  
  
Cinderalanna: Raoul! When did you get demoted to message carrying?  
  
Raoul: I made an unfortunate comment that the King didn't look regal in pink. He has a bit of a temper, you know.  
  
Cinderalanna: Ouch. Anyway, isn't Roald dead?  
  
Raoul: Isn't Roger dead? And how about Ralon?  
  
Cinderalanna: Point taken.  
  
Raoul: Anyway, I have approximately 65,384 more houses to go, so I'd better get moving. [Hands Cinderalanna a message] Talk to you later, Alanna. [leaves]  
  
Rogerina: [calls after him] CINDERalanna!  
  
Cinderalanna: Well, who's going to open this?  
  
Ralonetta and Rogerina: MEEEEEEE! [start fighting over it]  
  
Cinderalanna: [rolls eyes and hands message to Garetha]  
  
Duchess Garetha: [reads message] To whom it may concern: His Royal Majesty King Roald and His Royal Highness Prince Jonathan humbly request the presence of every eligible maiden in Tortall at a ball held for His Royal Highness Prince Jonathan's eighteenth birthday-  
  
Cinderalanna: Um, Jon's A LOT older than 18, and he's not a prince, either...  
  
Duchess Garetha: According to the Almighty Author, he's 18 AND a prince! So shut up! [clears throat and continues to read] at a ball held for his Royal Highness Prince Jonathan's eighteenth birthday, tomorrow evening at eight. The Prince is required to choose a bride at this ball.  
  
Ralonetta and Rogerina: [Start jumping up and down and squealing for no apparent reason, since they're really not female]  
  
Duchess Garetha: [glares at his "daughters" until they shut up]  
  
Cinderalanna: That's it?  
  
Duchess Garetha: Yup. MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Cinderalanna: Who in their right mind would marry Jon? He's a jerk.  
  
Ralonetta: He's HOT.  
  
Rogerina: [sighs dreamily]  
  
Cinderalanna: Well, you won't get ME to go!  
  
Duchess Garetha: I hate to tell you Cinderalanna, but I won't let you go. [thinking: MUAHAHAHA!]  
  
Cinderalanna: I think you have a selective hearing problem. I DON'T WANT TO GO!  
  
Duchess Garetha: I'm sorry, Cind-WHAT?  
  
Cinderalanna: I DON'T WANT TO MARRY PRINCE JONATHAN!  
  
Duchess Garetha: Are you nuts? You'd be QUEEN if you married the Prince! Well, first you'd be a Princess, but you'd be Queen as soon as Roald and Lianne kick the bucket!  
  
Cinderalanna: Exactly. I don't want to be Queen.  
  
Ralonetta: You're nuts.  
  
Cinderalanna: Your opinion means SO much to me, Ralonetta. [rolls eyes]  
  
Duchess Garetha: Well, since I obviously can't do something nice, I'm forcing you to go.  
  
Cinderalanna: [starts to sob] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I WILL NOT MARRY THE JERK! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I WILL NOT BE QUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEN!  
  
Rogerina: Aw, Mom, be nice to her. We are forcing her to cook our food and do our laundry and wash our dishes and scrub our floors and clean our chimneys and wash our drapes and make our beds and tie our shoes and clean our toilets and-  
  
Cinderalanna: [stops screaming] Rogerina...are you being...somewhat...HUMAN?  
  
Rogerina: HUMAN? Oh no! I'm turning away from the dark side! NOOO!  
  
Ralonetta: MUAHAHAHA! NOW I AM THE EVILLEST ONE OF ALL!  
  
Duchess Garetha: NO I AM EVILLER! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Cinderalanna: This is getting a little off topic!  
  
Ralonetta: So what? We like MUAHAHAHA-ing!  
  
Cinderalanna: Ummm...The Almighty Author said shut up?  
  
[crickets chirp]  
  
Cinderalanna: THANK YOU!  
  
Duchess Garetha: Well, Cindy dear-  
  
Cinderalanna: My name is not CINDY!  
  
Duchess Garetha: But your name isn't Cinderalanna, either, and you've been putting up with that!  
  
Cinderalanna: Point taken.  
  
Duchess Garetha: Anyway, I have an idea. We can compromise.  
  
Ralonetta: [gasp]  
  
Cinderalanna: [suspiciously] How?  
  
Duchess Garetha: IF you get all your chores done, you won't have to go.  
  
Cinderalanna: YAY! But if I don't?  
  
Duchess Garetha: Then I will personally betrothe you to Jonathan.  
  
Cinderalanna: EW! [runs off to do chores]  
  
Ralonetta: Mom, !  
  
Rogerina: That's not very evil.  
  
Duchess Garetha: I said IF.  
  
Ralonetta: So...  
  
Duchess Garetha: So, we make sure she doesn't lift a finger between now and tomorrow night!  
  
Ralonetta: Oh...I get it...I think...

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_A/N: Thanks lots to all my reviewers! I got more reviews than I thought I would.  
  
ZakronTheConqueror: Thanks for reviewing. Sure you can use them! Please make sure you put in your author's note or disclaimer that they're my idea, though.  
  
Everyone else, thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm hoping for 8 reviews...but if I don't get them, I'll still update. Oh, and ZakronTheConqueror is planning on using the three cross dressers in "The Wizard of BUNNIES!", so be sure you read it!_


	4. Doing Chores and Gifted Godmothers

**ANOTHER POINTLESS DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Everything except the plot and the idea to turn Duke Gareth into a crazy transvestite belongs to the one and only Tamora Pierce, and always will.**  
  
_A/N: I'm sooooooooo sorry about the lateness of this chapter. I was planning on having Cinderalanna finished Friday night and starting the sequel (info at the end of the next chapter!) Sunday afternoon. Well, at the time I'm writing this, it's 3 PM on Sunday, so I'm a bit behind. So I'm planning on adding the two final chapters today (sorry if I can't do that! I'm rather busy, but I'll try!) and I'll have the sequel out ASAP. Please read my A/N at the end of the story, too. It answers some questions I've gotten from reviewers. Thanks and enjoy!_

_UPDATE: Because of document manager being down, this isn't getting up until Monday. Sorry!_

Chapter 4: Doing Chores and Gifted Godmothers  
  
It's now noon of the day after our last chapter ended...  
  
Cinderalanna: [making lunch]  
  
Ralonetta: [walks in] Hey, let me help you with that!  
  
Cinderalanna: You're actually going to help me? Not knock it off the stove?  
  
Ralonetta: Would I, your beloved sister, lie to you? [bats eyelashes] [thinking: MUAHAHAHA!]  
  
Cinderalanna: Well, subtract the beloved part...and the sister part...and the answer is...YES! Now go away.  
  
Ralonetta: Oh, FINE! Be that way! [storms off, accidentally-yes, REALLY accidentally-knocking the pot off the stove, spraying bits of cinnamon and asparagus all over the kitchen floor]  
  
Cinderalanna: You'd better clean that up, Ralonetta! And while you're at it, you can make the asparagus soup, too, since you ruined it!  
  
Ralonetta: NO WAY! You made that mess!  
  
Cinderalanna: ME? YOU knocked it off the stove yourself!  
  
Ralonetta: DID NOT! You knocked it off on accident and you're blaming ME to get out of your work!  
  
Duchess Garetha: [walks in] Children, children! What are you two so worked up about? [thinking: MUAHAHAHA!]  
  
Cinderalanna: Ralon spilled-  
  
Ralonetta: RALONETTA!  
  
Cinderalanna: Oh, just shut UP already!  
  
Ralonetta: I don't have to shut up if I don't want to!  
  
Cinderalanna: Oh yes, you do! I might not have Lightning but I can still beat you up! [starts to go after Ralonetta]  
  
Ralonetta: MOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! [runs away sobbing]  
  
Duchess Garetha: [calls after him...erm...her...erm...him...] I'm right here, my poor darling baby! [turns to Cinderalanna angrily] YOU!  
  
Cinderalanna: _Moi?_  
  
Duchess Garetha: First you try to get him, er, her, to do your chores! Then you try to beat her up! You're a mean old bully! MUAHAHAHA! MEAN OLD BULLIES ARE FORCED TO BE QUEEN! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Cinderalanna: EEK!  
  
Duchess Garetha: One more slipup like that and you're going to the ball, missy!  
  
Cinderalanna: Yessir. Er, Yes ma'am.  
  
5 PM that afternoon...  
  
Cinderalanna: [scrubbing floors]  
  
Rogerina: Oh, hi, Cinderalanna. Let me help you. [Thinking: MUAHAHAHA!]  
  
Random People: Awww! Kodak moment!  
  
Cinderalanna: You know that joke is dead and rotting.  
  
Random People: We're just not appreciated anymore...[they leave]  
  
Rogerina: Anyway, sister dearest, I would love to assist you! [thinking: MUAHAHAHA!]  
  
Cinderalanna: Yeah. My other "sister dearest" helped me earlier...RIGHT INTO JON'S ARMS!  
  
Rogerina: FINE, then. [dumps flowerpot onto the floor-NOT accidentally- spraying bits of dirt all over the place]  
  
Cinderalanna: See? That's exactly what she did!  
  
Duchess Garetha: Did I hear the sound of someone not doing her chores?  
  
Cinderalanna: I'M FED UP WITH YOU PEOPLE! [throws dirt in Garetha's face]  
  
Duchess Garetha: YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Ibn Nazzir: [rides in on a broomstick] YOU SHALL BE CORRUPTED! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Harry Potter: Give me back my Nimbus Two Thousand! [they both run outside, screaming at each other]  
  
Cinderalanna: Well, that was random.  
  
Duchess Garetha: You're telling me. MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Rogerina: Where were we?  
  
Cinderalanna: I just threw dirt in Garetha's face.  
  
Rogerina: Oh yeah.  
  
Duchess Garetha: HOW DARE YOU?  
  
Cinderalanna: Oh, come on. Am I supposed to go through this whole story and not lose my temper? I'm the Lioness, for Mithros' sake!  
  
Duchess Garetha: Point taken. BUT YOU'RE STILL GOING TO THE BALL!  
  
Cinderalanna: NOOOOO! [runs away sobbing]  
  
7 PM...  
  
Duchess Garetha: Cinderalanna? Are you ready? The coachman is here!  
  
Cinderalanna: [walks out of her room in her dress, sooty and ripped] I'm going like this or not at all!  
  
Duchess Garetha: Too bad you forgot I'm Gifted. [Yellow fire drifts from his fingers to Cinderalanna's dress, turning it into a beautiful, clean bright yellow gown.]  
  
Cinderalanna: NO! [starts sobbing and runs to the garden, stumbling blindly until she stops to sit at a bench]  
  
Suddenly...  
  
Myles: [appears wearing a pink tutu] Oh, Cinders, do not fear! Your Gifted Godmother is here!  
  
Cinderalanna: Why are all the men in this story cross dressers?  
  
Myles: Because since the Almighty Author is using only Song of the Lioness characters, and you hung out with only males for 8 years...well, let's just say there's a significant deficiency of females.  
  
Cinderalanna: Point taken. So, are you here to get me out of the ball?  
  
Myles: Of course not! I'm here to let you go, instead of your mean family imprisoning you in the cellar!  
  
Cinderalanna: What cellar? And I-  
  
Myles: The cellar they locked you in of course!  
  
Cinderalanna: But they-  
  
Myles: Don't stand up for them, dear. Horrible people. Now where was I? Oh, yes, you're going to the ball.  
  
Cinderalanna: But I-  
  
Myles: I know, dear. You can't go looking like that. Yellow's a horrible color for you! [changes Cinderalanna's dress to purple]  
  
Cinderalanna: But you-  
  
Myles: No need to thank me.  
  
Cinderalanna: But I-  
  
Myles: Have no way to get there? How silly of me. [looks around] There must be something I could turn into a carriage...  
  
Cinderalanna: But I...  
  
Myles: Oh, here we go! [turns a loaf of pumpernickel bread into a carriage]  
  
Cinderalanna: But there's-  
  
Myles: No horses? You need to work on grammar, dear. It's but there aren't any horses. [turns some mice into horses, and a dog into a coachman]  
  
Cinderalanna: But I-  
  
Myles: Need a footman? Demanding little thing, aren't you?  
  
Cinderalanna: BUT I-  
  
Myles: No need to shout, Alanna. [turns a cat into a footman] Happy now?  
  
Cinderalanna-This is-  
  
Myles: The best day of your life? Don't mention it. [shoves Cinderalanna into the carriage] And just to be sure your family doesn't spoil your fun, you can't leave until MIDNIGHT! Have a nice time, dear! [the coach starts to move]  
  
Cinderalanna: Well, that was pointless...

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_A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers! And in response to Zella, yes I am using only SotL characters in Cinderalanna. In my next fic, Cinderalanna's sequel (starring Daine) Immortals characters will be added. I'll tell you more about that fic in my next A/N. Thank you again to all my reviewers, see you soon!_


	5. The Ball and How Clumsy Alanna is at It

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the plot, or the characters. I really don't own anything so stop bothering me about it!**  
  
_A/N: This is the final chapter! I'm going to be writing the sequel ASAP. Read my A/N at the end of the chapter, please!_  
  
Chapter 5: The Ball and How Clumsy Alanna Was at It  
  
Cinderalanna: [stepping out of the carriage] How did I get myself INTO this?  
  
Coachman: Can I turn back into a dog now?  
  
Cinderalanna: I need you to get me home at midnight!  
  
Coachman: But you won't need us! You can get the prince to give you a ride home!  
  
Cinderalanna: Don't remind me! Just stick around here until midnight. I might need you. [goes into the palace]  
  
Some random person with a bullhorn: Lady Alanna of Trebond and Olau!  
  
Cinderalanna: GIVE ME THAT! [yanks the bullhorn away from him] Do you think I want the prince to know I'm here?  
  
Some random person who doesn't have a bullhorn anymore: But you might get to be QUEEN!  
  
Cinderalanna: Is everyone here this DENSE?  
  
Some random person who doesn't have a bullhorn anymore: Ummm...am I supposed to answer that?  
  
Cinderalanna: ARGH! [hands him back the bullhorn]  
  
Rogerina: [runs in]  
  
Some random person with a bullhorn: Sir Roger of Conte!  
  
Rogerina: I'm Lady Rogerina of Conte and Naxen!  
  
Ralonetta: And I'm Ralonetta of Malven and Naxen!  
  
Cinderalanna: [leaves quickly before they can see her-or betrothe her!] [walks into the main ballroom]  
  
Prince Jonathan: HI ALANNA!  
  
Cinderalanna: EEEEEK! [runs crazily away from Jon]  
  
Clock: BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG!  
  
Cinderalanna: For those of you who can't count or are too lazy to it's eight o' clock!  
  
Jonathan: [starts to catch up] MY QUUUUEEEEN!  
  
Cinderalanna: [runs] I'M NOT YOUR QUEEN!  
  
Delia: Jon?  
  
Jonathan: [stops chasing Cinderalanna and starts staring at Delia, drooling]  
  
Cinderalanna: [gets out of there before Jon can be unDelia-ized] [bumps right into Liam] I'd make a comment about the fact that you're dead, but there seem to be a lot of dead people running around!  
  
Liam: [suspiciously] Was that dress made by...m-m-mmm...the M word?  
  
Cinderalanna: You mean magic?  
  
Liam: [runs away shrieking]  
  
Cinderalanna: OK...[keeps running away from Jon and bumps into Duchess Garetha] AAAAHHHH![runs away from Garetha and runs onto Ibn Nazzir]  
  
Ibn Nazzir: YOU SHALL BE CORRUPTED!  
  
Cinderalanna: You are just freaky, did anyone ever tell you that? [runs away from Ibn Nazzir and bumps into a semi-transparent and floating Francis of Nond] Ummm...do I know you?  
  
Francis: Yessss...I am a ghosssst from your passsst...  
  
Cinderalanna: Aren't you that kid from when I was a page who did absolutely nothing except die?  
  
Francis: [starts to sob] I WASSSS SSSSO UNLOVED!  
  
Cinderalanna: [runs away from Francis]  
  
Clock: BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG!  
  
Cinderalanna: It's 9 o' clock already? Time flies when you're running into random people...[runs into Myles]  
  
Myles: Enjoying yourself?  
  
Cinderalanna: EEEEK! [runs away from Sir Myles and up the grand staircase] [Looks down and sees Jonathan still staring at Delia, Liam running around shrieking, Francis sobbing, and that she is being pursued by Duchess Garetha, Ibn Nazzir, and Myles] Wow...Did I do that? [rushes into the ladies room to avoid her pursuers]  
  
Duchess Garetha: YOU FORGOT I'M FEMALE! MUAHAHAHA! Come on, dearest Cindy. Let's betrothe you to Prince Jonathan. [grabs Cinderalanna's arm and starts pulling her out the door and down the steps]  
  
Cinderalanna: [yanks herself free, reeling backwards and bumping right into...] THAYET!  
  
Thayet: Hi, Alanna. Are you being sort of clumsy tonight? I've seen you run into Jonathan, Liam, some freaky Bazhir person, some freaky transparent person, and Myles.  
  
Cinderalanna: And you.  
  
Thayet: Yeah, and me. Are you OK?  
  
Cinderalanna: My stepmother is forcing me to marry Jon. Is that OK?  
  
Thayet: Ooooh, Alanna you're sooooo lucky!  
  
Clock: BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG!  
  
Cinderalanna: [has an idea, in spite of the clock bonging ten] You'd...WANT to marry Jon?  
  
Thayet: Yes!  
  
Cinderalanna: And be QUEEN?  
  
Thayet: Who wouldn't want to be Queen?  
  
Cinderalanna: Why do I get the feeling I'm abnormal? [pulls Thayet down the steps] C'mon, Thayet, there's not much time! [bumps into Alex] Wow. I guess Thayet's right. I really am clumsy today.  
  
Alex: MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Thayet: How did you put up with him for eight years?  
  
Cinderalanna: I have no idea! [keeps pulling Thayet towards Jon] [bumps into Eleni Cooper]  
  
Eleni: Hi, Alanna. Have you seen Myles?  
  
Cinderalanna: Yeah. Way too much. Is your son around here?  
  
Eleni: Yes. Why?  
  
Cinderalanna: I'll have to find him after I take care of Jon.  
  
Clock: BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG!  
  
Cinderalanna: That was the shortest hour of my life. [yanks Thayet, bumping into Gary]  
  
Gary: Have you seen my father?  
  
Cinderalanna: [starts laughing uncontrollably]  
  
Gary: Alanna? Are you OK?  
  
Cinderalanna: She...he...[giggles] went that way [points then starts laughing again]  
  
Gary: What?  
  
Cinderalanna: Don't ask. You REALLY don't want to know.  
  
Gary: OK...[goes off to find his father]  
  
Cinderalanna: [pulls at Thayet again, bumping into Jon, unDelia-izing him]  
  
Jonathan: Alanna! Hi! Delia and I were just...er...[gets all googly eyed] WHO IS THAT?  
  
Cinderalanna: Her name's Thayet. NOW ANNOUNCE YOUR ENGAGEMENT TO HER BEFORE GARETHA CATCHES ME!  
  
Jonathan: No problem. [walks up to a platform] I hereby announce my engagement to Thayet of...what's your last name, anyway?  
  
Thayet: We're getting married and you don't know my last name?  
  
Jonathan: Ummm...yeah. So?  
  
Thayet: The Almighty Author's right. You're a jerk.  
  
Jonathan: But I already announced the engagement! We can't break it off now!  
  
Thayet: NOOOOO! I'M STUCK WITH THE JERK FOREVER NOW!  
  
Jonathan: Yup.  
  
Cinderalanna: I hope that stupid clock bongs soon. I'm getting sick of being around Jon.  
  
Delia: JON??? HOW COULD YOU MARRY HER???  
  
Jonathan: Get lost Delia. Guards? OFF WITH HER HEAD!  
  
Delia: Eek! [runs away with a half-dozen guards and several drooling men in pursuit]  
  
Clock: BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG, BOOOOOONNNNNGGG!  
  
Cinderalanna: YES! I can get out of here! [runs right into George]  
  
George: Hello, Alanna. Where have you been?  
  
Cinderalanna: Don't ask. C'mon, let's go home.  
  
**--THE END?--**  
  
_A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers. I don't have time to respond to you individually, but thank you.  
  
Sorry that I've been late in updating these last two chapters. I've been busy :(  
  
I tried to tie in all the characters I missed in this chapter by Alanna bumping into them, but there are still some I missed, especially the Bazhir from book 3. Unfortunately, the sequel will have to be the same, since there are A LOT of characters in the Immortals series. Speaking of the sequel...  
  
OK, I promised a sequel if I got good reviews, and boy did I! So...introducing [drumroll]...Sleeping Magelet, starring Daine! It's the same basic principle, a Tortallan fairy tale with a twist. The cast will include Ozornella, The Three Really Nice Gifted People, and, of course, Auroradaine Sarrasri! I'm planning on having it up...as soon as I can write it, actually. Most likely tomorrow, since I'm itching to get started.  
  
Again, thank you all for reading and reviewing. It's been wonderful working with all of you. I hope I'll see you all reviewing my sequel! _


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